I confess to… actually being much smarter than I pretend to be.

I confess to… parroting their accent when talking to a foreigner without meaning to.

I confess to… going to an ‘indie’ cinema with my mum that was actually an erotic cinema.

I confess to… thinking that Alaska was an island.

I confess to… just leaving one piece of toilet paper so that I don’t have to change the roll.

I confess to… holding my cat up in the air and singing the circle of life.

I confess to… having a HUGE crush on my cousin.

I confess to… trying to buy a pack of cigarettes from a machine and buying ballerina pumps instead.

I confess to… sometimes changing channels while pretending the controller is a wand and that I am in fact Harry Potter.

I confess to… hooking up with you the for first time because I mistook you for your brother.

I confess to… sending myself flowers at work on Valentine’s day…

I confess to… starting that rumour about you actually being a dude…

I confess to… buying a Ferrari key ring for my car keys… I own a Fiat…

I confess to… ‘accidentally’ calling you while I was having sex with my new boyfriend.

I confess to… tagging my twin in a photo of me cheating on my girlfriend… My twin got dumped, I got engaged.